Dear sister of my soul,
I see you put that smile on your face each day. I know that it must be hard for you to do. You never share with others your internal struggle, the dark demons you fight off daily. You are so strong although you tell yourself you are weak. You do more damage with the words you tell yourself than a thousand sharp tongues could ever do.
I know there are times that even getting out of bed each morning takes an act of God. You smile, you laugh, but inside you are a crumpled mess of hurt and fears. You live in a sea of tears that only you know exists. You cry for what you’ve lost, for what’s ahead, and for what will never come. You tell yourself that it doesn’t matter but deep down, it does.
You scream, “It’s not fair!” but we all know that life is never fair. Even so, you still notice how some seem more favored than others. For some, life seems easy and carefree while others must fight hard for little. You know things aren’t always what they seem but the odds are stacked against you.
All you want is to be “normal” and to fit in. On your knees with tears streaming down your face, you beg for a normal life like everyone else. You question your worth and decide that maybe you don’t deserve it. You must have been the most vile of sorts in a past life, you think. No one will ever love you. Your soul mate is a mirage. He will never arrive. There’s no such thing as happily ever after. People will never understand you. You’re too weird. Not the cool different, but the off-your-rocker weird. And you ask, “Do I really have a purpose in this life?”
After all the questions have been pondered and the tears no longer fall, you realize that these are just the lies we tell ourselves when we are afraid, unsure, and lonely. When we are sad and insecure. Lost and confused. Depressed and shameful. These are not our truths. Don’t allow the madness to disguise what is real and true.
Even if Mr. Oh So Right never shows, you are more than enough.
Even if you choose a fulfilling job over a well paying job, you are more than enough.
Even if you choose the road less traveled, you are still more than enough.
And that, my dear one, is the truth.
With much love,
Amanda
