Tuesday, February 19, 2013

How to protect your neck against emotional vampires

image credit
Ok, so he's not an emotional vampire but he is my fave True Blood vamp.  ;-)
I’m sure we’ve all met an emotional vampire. You know, those people that try to suck the life out of you with their negative outlook. They are so down that they want to bring you down with them. What if the emotional vamps were actually our educators/coaches/teachers? What? Have you lost your mind? Perhaps, but I believe it’s all about perspective.

Each of us is a work in progress. There are small parts of us that are broken and in need of repair. These parts need mending so they can work better than new. Why? Because if you have, say, a broken heart, you work though this brokenness and mend your heart. Your heart isn’t as good as new, it’s better than new. The stitches and scars make you a better person. While these parts are still in need of repair, you attract like. What we haven’t resolved with ourselves is what we tend to attract. This is where the vampires stroll along. Why? Like attracts like. Here is where a change of perspective comes into play. The emotional vampires annoy you enough that you begin to work on those hurt areas, you begin to heal, and you take care of you. Guess what? The emotional vamps usually disappear at this point because of your self-care. You’ve desensitized yourself to them. They no longer have a need for you. What made them gravitate towards you has been demagnetized. The question here is, would you have had the confidence and clarity to work on these pieces had the drainer not come along? Perhaps eventually, but their presence brought these vulnerable, hurt places to your attention.

That’s not to say that emotional vampires can’t hurt you with their dark cloud of doom. If these sore spots are left untreated, the vamps can enlarge that wound. A little salt for your open wound?

When an emotional vampire moves in for the kill –
-look within and explore what may have attracted them your way.
-Ask yourself, “What can this emotional vampire teach me?”
-Kill them with kindness. Nothing stops a difficult person like a loving dose of empathy. Confusion, my dear, confusion.
-Remember (with empathy), whatever they’re doing to you they are also doing to themselves. Critical = Self-critical


1 comment:

Kristine said...

I have realized that I need to step away from these vampires - I used too much energy caring when they obviously did not - I have made decisions that I intend to keep and move forward "lighter" - Good Post!