Thursday, February 28, 2013

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Transforming Anger into Compassion

Anger and frustration are negative emotions that stem from fear while positive emotions like hope, courage, and compassion are born of love. Love is greater than fear or any other negative emotion. Love is greater than anything. Compassion is required to transform all negative emotions, especially anger because it allows you to expose the hurt and in turn heal. Anger left unhealed turns to suffering. Persistent anger allows the stress hormone cortisol to be elevated in the body, impairing the immune system, hampering your ability to relax, making you edgy, and taxing your system. Anger feeds on anger and builds momentum. 

Most common causes of anger:
-          Unfair treatment
-          Treated disrespectfully
-          Feeling unappreciated
-          Feeling threatened
-          Personal boundaries compromised

Instead of holding in or blowing up you must deal with the anger. Develop strategies to express your emotion in a healthy manner.

When anger rises, take these action steps:

Pause. Stop and take a deep breath. Slowly count to twenty in order to regain composure. This allows you to think before you act (or react).

Time-out. If you need more time, retreat for a few moments to a calmer location to find your center and prevent lashing out. This is especially important if you’re tired, rushed, or before bedtime. These are not appropriate times to work through anger.

Release. Decide that your objective is to not stay angry and be willing to release negative resentments.

Communicate. Be calm and clear in tone and acknowledge the hurt without lashing out. Find a way for both parties to get their needs met. Set the intention for a compassionate exchange in order to alter the path of anger. Compassionate communication is a sacred exchange for the greater good involving empathy, bonding, and growth.

Forgive. It is necessary to feel anger in order for forgiveness to begin. Apologize or be accepting of their apology. Take steps to modify the offending behavior or find a way to compromise. Forgiveness means you can no longer punish yourself or the other party for any wrongdoing.

Accept. Realize that people generally don’t mean to cause others harm and are doing the best that they can. Accept their shortcomings.

Acknowledge. Understand that some people are too toxic to participate in a compassionate exchange. In these situations it is best to limit your contact with them and/or slowly detach. You cannot force an unwilling person into a resolution or compromise. Especially with a bully. Resist the urge for revenge or to get even. This reduces you to your worst self.

Remember, you are the only one responsible for the healing of your emotional self. Not your partner or anyone else. Cultivate compassion for yourself which will in turn flow out into the world. Speak to the best in people and you will bring out the best in yourself. Infinite love.


Monday, February 25, 2013

Full Moon Dreamboard :: Full Snow Moon

This is the Full Snow Moon and asks, "What desires lie deep within?" To participate, please visit Jamie Ridler Studios.

This month green is the color that spoke to me to be the background. Like last month's color of purple, green is another color I don't use often. This color choice makes me think of being earthy, grounded, natural, and being in touch with nature. Makes sense because I'm a Taurus which is the direction of North, an earth sun sign. 

The little girl artist was the first image that I picked which makes me think of connecting with my inner child artfully. This is timely because I'm currently taking Flora Bowley's Bloom True ecourse. This class is guiding me to approach painting playfully and fearlessly as a child would, unconcerned with the outcome and just having fun. This could also account for the flower blooming in the center of my board. Flowers were the main theme in my dreamboard last month. 

The lady eating the apple represents how I am focusing on nourishing my body more mindfully. I went for my Jenny Craig weigh-in this afternoon and have now lost 5% of my total body weight. Woohoo! The loving couple represents the intention I sent out to the universe last week. The phrases all fit into my current mindset. I was especially pleased to see "ripple effect" make it's way here because that is something I've been journaling about lately and is even written on the kraft paper covering my art desk.

I hope you're enjoying the full moon! Unfortunately, I can't see it since we're finishing up day 4 of rainstorms. I'm so over the gloomy weather. Have a wonderful night!


Quote - Be Notorious

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Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious.  ~Rumi

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Wishcasting Wednesday :: What do you wish to welcome in?

Thank you for joining me for this week's Wishcasting Wednesday. If you'd like to join this magical circle of dreamers and doers, please visit Jamie Ridler Studios.

This week's prompt:

What do you wish to welcome in?

My wish for this week will piggyback on last week's Wishcasting Wednesday, "What is your love wish?" because I don't feel like I'm finished setting my intention on that one.

This past week I've been reading Writing Down Your Soul which has inspired me to return to Morning Pages (from The Artists Way). The exception here is that morning pages never really worked for me and I was ready to dump that a.m. habit after the thirty days were up. Sad but true. This weekend I realized that when I need to write the most is in the afternoon after I get home from work. This allows me a daily dump of what happened during the day and is on my mind so that I can transition to the evening leaving those worries behind. And it's working!

So as I was writing a few days ago in my journal I circled back around to my wish to find my soulmate. Here is a portion of what I wrote:

At times I am so lonely but I know that the best relationship for me will be like nothing I've ever had before. None of the craziness and drinking and drugs that come with most guys. A good guy. One that works hard and loves deeply. A man in touch with his feelings and his sensitive side. A stable guy. A man that makes me want to be a better person. A man who will teach me to love like I never have before. Not crazy, teenage love but real, wholehearted love. I know that this guy is out there somewhere and that he really exists. Please help us to find our way to each other. 

After I was done writing for that day I felt such clarity in what I did and didn't desire in a soulmate. So for today's wish, What do you wish to welcome in? I wish set my intention before God, Spirit, and the Universe that I welcome in my forever partner into my heart.

With much love,

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

How to protect your neck against emotional vampires

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Ok, so he's not an emotional vampire but he is my fave True Blood vamp.  ;-)
I’m sure we’ve all met an emotional vampire. You know, those people that try to suck the life out of you with their negative outlook. They are so down that they want to bring you down with them. What if the emotional vamps were actually our educators/coaches/teachers? What? Have you lost your mind? Perhaps, but I believe it’s all about perspective.

Each of us is a work in progress. There are small parts of us that are broken and in need of repair. These parts need mending so they can work better than new. Why? Because if you have, say, a broken heart, you work though this brokenness and mend your heart. Your heart isn’t as good as new, it’s better than new. The stitches and scars make you a better person. While these parts are still in need of repair, you attract like. What we haven’t resolved with ourselves is what we tend to attract. This is where the vampires stroll along. Why? Like attracts like. Here is where a change of perspective comes into play. The emotional vampires annoy you enough that you begin to work on those hurt areas, you begin to heal, and you take care of you. Guess what? The emotional vamps usually disappear at this point because of your self-care. You’ve desensitized yourself to them. They no longer have a need for you. What made them gravitate towards you has been demagnetized. The question here is, would you have had the confidence and clarity to work on these pieces had the drainer not come along? Perhaps eventually, but their presence brought these vulnerable, hurt places to your attention.

That’s not to say that emotional vampires can’t hurt you with their dark cloud of doom. If these sore spots are left untreated, the vamps can enlarge that wound. A little salt for your open wound?

When an emotional vampire moves in for the kill –
-look within and explore what may have attracted them your way.
-Ask yourself, “What can this emotional vampire teach me?”
-Kill them with kindness. Nothing stops a difficult person like a loving dose of empathy. Confusion, my dear, confusion.
-Remember (with empathy), whatever they’re doing to you they are also doing to themselves. Critical = Self-critical


Monday, February 18, 2013

Quote - Present Moment

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Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.  ~Eckhart Tolle

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Quote - Valentine's Love

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Before we love with our heart, we already love with our imagination.  ~Louise Colet

Happy Valentine's Day!


Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Wishcasting Wednesday :: What is your love wish?

Thank you for joining me for this week's Wishcasting Wednesday. If you'd like to join this magical circle of dreamers and doers, please visit Jamie Ridler Studios.

This week's prompt:

What is your love wish?

My love wish is to love myself completely with a forgiving, healed heart. I wish to attract my soul mate, my forever partner, who can teach me a love like I've never felt before.


Even More Found Hearts

I love it when I find hearts in unexpected places (Found Hearts & More Found Hearts & Hiking Found Hearts). I found this heart when I was flipping through pictures on my iPhone of beginning layers on canvas paintings:

This heart was also discovered later when reviewing pictures on my phone. How awesome is it that the gap between the carnations formed a heart shape?

I didn't notice the shape until I placed this crystal in my window sill.

A heart-shaped crack in the parking lot walking into Michaels.

Found heart when the cookies were pulled out of the oven (scooped cookie dough).

I found this heart when I was editing the photo.

This heart is upside and a not easily seen in this picture but when you're holding it and turn the crystal upside down its easily noticeable.


Tuesday, February 12, 2013

When Courage Roars (Or Meows)

Positive emotions originate from love while negative emotions stem from fear. Fear is a powerful emotion because it’s genetically linked to the survival instinct. Our bodies become overburdened by fear’s unnecessary stress on our systems. The stress hormone cortisol becomes elevated, we are unable to relax, and our immune system becomes weakened.

Emotional energy attracts like, as in, fear will attract fear. While we do attract who we are, that can also be used to attract positive. Courage attracts courage. To generate the flow of positive energy you must first initiate positive energy. Send out positive signals in order for those in the same or similar frequencies to gravitate towards your positive emotional energy.

Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we have learned here. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and the acceptance of love back into our hearts.  ~Marianne Williamson

Last week I talked about how frustration can teach you patience, the same can be applied to fear teaching you courage. Fear places you in a position to test your bravery. Fear places your unresolved emotional baggage in the forefront, brings it to your attention, which then allows you the space to confront and work though these emotions. Without the fear you might not have been mindful of the work to be done or simply avoided it. Without the fear you wouldn’t have the opportunity to courageously explore your fears. Courage lessens the hold that fear has on you.

No matter how strong of a hold fear may have on you; love is the greatest force of all.